Russia's Heart
by Mikasa-san
Summary: After Prussia returned to Germany, his relationship with Russia was a bit weird and complicated. What happens when Russia makes a visit and loses his heart? m/m, mentioned rape


„Does this really still happen to you?", laughed Prussia and bent down to pick the heart lying in front of him of the ground.

Russia currently made an official visit in Germany and stayed at the house of the brothers – more precisely in the room of the older one – because his hotel was overbooked and Gilbert insisted. Especially because of the latter.

„Из-извините, I'll be more carefull", apologised Ivan fast.

The other just gave a „No problem" as an answer, while it seemed that he didn't really listen.

Instead he sat down on his bed and looked thoroughly at the heart in his hands. As he started caressing it, a comfortable shiver ran down the Russian's spine. The white-haired nation carefully stroke over the regularly beating organ and didn't hear any protest. Only when he began to squeeze a bit, Russia complained. „Oh, tut mir Leid", responded the albino, but made no move to return it.

„Gilbert? Can I have it back?", asked Ivan carefully, but instead of answering the former kingdom just caressed the heart further, altough more cautious than before. A short time passed, before he finally opened his mouth: „You are lonely, aren't you?"

„Why do yo-", began Russia, but was interrupted.

„It's so cold...", whispered Prussia and after a little time taped beside him on the bed. „Come here."

The large nation hesitated for a moment, before he followed the request and sat down.

„Can I somehow warm it up?"

„Da, maybe."

„What do I have to do?"

The Russian looked at the other man with surprise. „I thought you already knew something."

„But it's your heart."

„I don't know how. Nobody ever tried before."

„Not even Belarus?"

„I never let her have it."

„Had there never been anyone who hold it?

„Yao did once, but it's hundred of years ago and I took it away from him very fast", said Ivan pondering, whilst Gilbert winced when he heard the other calling China by his name. He quickly distracted himself by breathing gently against Russia's heart. Soon after he felt the large nation leaning against him and was secretly happy to have the privilege to hold the other's most precious organ in his hands. If he knew, what Ivan was thinking at this moment, he would have propably felt different.

Gilbert is so kind towards me again, he doesn't hate me. He wants me to be happy and I'm only happy with him. He'll become mine again. He's mine, only mine. And if he doesn' want, then...

Startled Ivan opened his eyes, ripped his heart out of the smaller man's hands and put it hastily back in his chest.

„Vanya! I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"  
„Нет, нет... нет твоё долг... Только моего, потому что, я... потому что...", the Russian stuttered more to himself. The former kingdom let out a small sigh and pulled the frightened man in an embrace. „Shh, Alles ist gut... You didn't do anything wrong."

„No-nothing is good... I'm, I'm...Ты не знаещь, что я думал... я чудовище...", stammered Ivan weakly, but clinged fast to the smaller man, who tried to comfort him. The latter one carefully gripped the face of the crying nation and adjusted it so that he had to look at him. „Ты нет чудовище, потомы что я не могу любить одно."

„You don't get it... Love doesn't matter, I would still hurt you. You would wish to be dead, but I wouldn't let you die. I wou-" Russia was interrupted when the other laid his finger onto his lips.

„You would never hurt me. You never hurt anyone you love. Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, … They are all fine, aren't they?"  
„Because they don't live with me anymore."

„Ok, we didn't have much at this time, but you never laid a hand on anyone and tried to make it as comfortable as possible for us."

„I did lay my hand on you."

„Once."

„That was one time too often."

„I was seriously bitching around on that day."

„Are you that afraid?"

„Huh? Of course I'm not afraid!" This had catched Gilbert off-guard.

„You lowered yourself. You only did that once before."

„I was just trying to make you feel better", the Albino pouted.

When the huge nation didn't answer, he let out a sigh and burried his face in the other's shoulder.

„Of course I'm afraid. Not of, but for you." The Russian still kept quiet, but before he could say something else, the former kingdom was roughly tossed down on his bed with the large nation above him starting to rip his shirt open. Prussia resisted and tried to push the other man off, but wasn't strong enough to achieve anything. „Verdammt, Ivan, hör auf!" To his surprise he really stopped.

„If I had really lost my mind, then I would have raped you now. Why can't you understand that I'm not good for you?"

„Why do you chase after me then? You didn't had to sleep in my room, you could have insisted on the couch. But you agreed on my offer relatively fast. If you were really that afraid of loosing control and hurting me, you wouldn't have accepted. You are just scared of me betraying you."

„That's not true. I wanted to force you to be mine when you-

„-Had the heart? Then we just have to make sure that it stays in your body."

„You shouldn't act like that. I just tried to rape you."  
„No, you tried to scare me."  
„You can't tell me that you weren't."

„Only the first seconds. And now let me sit up properly."

„Ah, извинитье." Russia sat still on the others pelvis, but now quickly changed to a place besides the other nation allowing him to sit up. Now both men sat side by side, looking in different directions. After a short time, the Prussian broke the silence.

„I really think we should give it a try. I still...", the smaller nation hesitated for a moment „still love you and I know that you feel the same. We can make sure that you won't lose your heart again."

„No, we won't. I can't risk hurting you again."

„You won't lose it when you are happy, so we aren't risking anything."  
„And when we fight? Relationships aren't always lovey-dovey, especially ours. You know that. I don't want to take the risk. There are other nations who cast an eye on you anyway. You won't miss me for long."

Gilbert looked at the other in shock. „Of course I'll miss you! I love you, dammit! You can't just toss feelings away when you don't want them anymore!"

„I'm sorry."

„Please, Vanya, you can't do that", Prussia begged and was on the verge of crying.

„I'm sorry, but I won't change my mind. It's better that way."

„But, but..." the Albino tried to search for words, before everything broke out. „I trusted you, I gave everything to you! I told you everything about me! You know more than my brother! Why can't you just..." His voice died out at the end. Russia looked at him with sad eyes, it wasn't like he didn't knew how the other felt. He wasn't the only one suffering from this. „Don't give me such a face. Just get the fuck out of here! Ich will dich nicht mehr sehen! Nie mehr!"

The Russian got up and headed slowly to the door, looking back over his shoulder when he heard sobs behind him.

„Get lost already!" Gilbert shouted again and threw the bedside lamp in the direction of the large nation, but didn't hit him.

_It's for the best,_ the Russian mournfully thought and left the room only to sink down crying a few steps later.

* * *

**A/N**

Translation:

извините (Isvinite) - Sorry

Oh, tut mir Leid - Oh, I'm sorry

Нет, нет... нет твоё долг... Только моего, потому что, я... потому что... (Njet, Njet... Njet tvayo dolg... Tolko moego, patamu sto, ja... patamu sto...) - No, no... It's not your fault... Only mine, because I'm...

Shh, Alles ist gut... - Shh, everything is alright

Ты не знаещь, что я думал... я чудовище... (Ty ne snajesh, sto ja dumal... ja tshudovishje) - You don't know, what I just thought... I'm a monster...

Ты нет чудовище, потому что я не могу любить одно. (Ty net tshudovishje, patamu sto ja ne magu ljubit adno) - You are no monster, because I couldn't love one.

Verdammt, Ivan, hör auf! - Dammit, Ivan, stop it!

Ich will dich nicht mehr sehen! Nie mehr!" - I don't want to see you again! Never!

.

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So, that was my first published story ever and then even in a language that's not my first... My Russian isn't very good either, so let me know when you find mistakes there. The transription for the Russian I made is more improvised than anything else, because I'm really bad with phonetics, but I wanted to at least give you the possibility to read it, even when the pronounciation is off.  
Also this story was supposed to have a happy end, when I started writing it, but after I forgot about it halfway this turned out when I completed it ^^'


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